A POEM A DAY - 7/26-8/26 - 2017August 26, 2017
The Last One by Jami Williams I am not a finisher I am a starter I am a "Green" on the Kolbe And that is what everyone uses To explain me away They suck ideas out of me Like I'm one of those hairless humans from The Matrix Quick start But don't trust her to finish They think it hurts my feelings It does But not as much as it would hurt their feelings If I told them that all their red, yellow and blue Mixed together Looks like what we used to shovel on the farm This is the last one I am a finisher And I'm still green So wake up And smell what you're shoveling. August 25, 2017
Beatnik by Jami Williams Snap I want to be a beatnik Snap But I have too much stuff Snap snap I want to be a beatnick Snap But I don't want it enough Snap snap Turtlenecks, scratch and make me itchy Snap Tight black pants make my thighs twitchy Snap I want to be a beatnik Snap But I'm not that cool Snap snap I want to be a beatnik Snap But I can't play the guitar Snap snap I want to be a beatnik Snap But I own a Mom car Snap snap I couldn't slink out at midnight to poet Snap The sixties are over and boy, do I know it Snap I want to be a beatnik Snap But I'm just not cool... anymore Snaps (the crowd goes wild with mad snaps). August 24, 2017
Stealing Air by Jami Williams I have been left Too many times to count Left out, left behind Left high and dry Left holding the bag Left feeling unwanted Left so much I'll never be right Left to my own devices Left to make the choice Left to take the blame I expressed these feelings once And only once To my mother A modern-day Minerva With a spiritual twist Feel that way now Then get over it Float to the top of it, kid You are responsible for how you feel Feeling left isn't right When you consider the fact That we are all just here on earth Stealing each other's air August 23, 2017
Song by Jami Williams I was five Avocado green carpet Low shag Windows open No air conditioning I had stolen a chair from the dining room table And in the middle of the living room I was on stage I had stolen a spatula from the kitchen And in the middle of the living room I was singing a song My words, just mine My voice, so loud My tune, wrapping around those words I was incredible My grandmother Apron around her waist Hair matted to her forehead Cleared her throat From the doorway I met her gaze And she crossed the space between us in two steps Reaching down to my hand Grabbing the spatula Everyone knows if you're going to sing your song A wooden spoon is a better microphone Than a spatula Resonates better More volume I stood on the chair Stunned as she went back to the kitchen I didn't know That Grandma Was a singer too August 22, 2017
A Chilling Reminder by Jami Williams I would be awake for this one Just a small cut... just to make sure We have an operating room right here And they brought me a gown Leave it open in the front And I thought about all of the times I had been open in the front And they led me to a cavernous, white room And the bed was covered in real sheets Despite the fact that we knew I was going to bleed I was open in the front Your wound is deeper than it is wide And in order to heal it properly We are going to make it as wide as it is deep I was open in the front And the room was cold My feet were cold And they laid a warm blanket across me And shot me full of numbness The glint of a blade and the long practiced fingers of a surgeon And a river of red trickled down What was left of my breast Onto the perfect white sheet The perfect white floor I'm sorry about that It slipped out before I could stop it Force of habit When you are open in the front And I was, I was really sorry about that Red, red blood on their beautiful room They comforted me Told me it wasn't my fault Said they expected me to bleed That's what happens when you make a cut That's what happens when you have to heal That's what happens when you have to be As wide as you are deep That's what happens when you are open in the front August 21, 2017
Rupi Kaur by Jami Williams I asked my students About modern poetry And they said your name. They showed me your book And I read some of it And thus began the lesson of the day: How important it is in life to know the right people August 20, 2017
Mercy by Jami Williams I think that mercy is a dying art Anonymity has smothered it An absent-minded mother Who forgets her child can't breathe underwater Oops... And we offer the excuses: But I... I just... Thinking about... Worried about... I... I... I... You... You... You... Those are the killers of mercy We are the hands Slowly making it clean Baptizing it with our cupped palm Putting our hands on its ribcage And holding it until it stops kicking Lungs filled with water Heart filled with nothing So many people to mourn it But no one to resuscitate. August 19, 2017
My Son by Jami Williams I had a miracle baby boy That brought me overwhelming joy Years of cuddles, years of tears Years of years that pile on years And now that little boy of mine Spends hours and hours gaming online And tells that "I don't even KNOW!" And forces me to drive him where he must go He eats us out of house and home Prefers his time spent not alone But not with people either, see, He prefers a world of fantasy A teacher's kid, so he must be smart But I'm more concerned about his heart I hear the things the smart kids say And I don't want my son to act that way My son is his own person now My son, but taller than me somehow And better in character and in heart I know this because once I was smart. August 18, 2017
Snide by Jami Williams My reputation It precedes And procedes Which I can only assume That I did succeed Now I am that one The one who doesn't comply Who won't just let it slip over Cover us with the ooze of complacency Looking for a fight Always making trouble Did you hear what she did? If she knew what was good for her She wouldn't Never Ever Even THINK About... I can't hear them Through my rage music In all seriousness It's just that Yellow Flicker Beat song And they truly did once shout my name And now, It's but a whisper Turns out the odds Were ever in my favor... August 17, 2017
Pain by Jami Williams How I long to languish In your darkness Bleed for you And seek out the cure Suffer for art The college girl in me screams As I purchase copious amounts Of journals And pens I am ready, Dark Lord Course through me, Suck my soul like a lemon drop And the pages are blank The pens do not scratch This is how I know I am grown Pain no longer moves me closer to death It merely reminds me that I live. August 16, 2017
A Farewell to Breasts by Jami Williams You been nothin' But trouble Since the day you popped up Conversations you have had With thousands Even though it was my mouth that was moving And now you are gone Troublemakers Because trouble found you And I ain't scared I ain't scared of nothin' Except this elementary-school fear That you might pop back up August 15, 2017
As I Lay Living by Jami Williams Look through me Not like a window Like a book Leaf through me Your fingertips soft on my edges Your eyes hungry I am dog-earred to you Old and comfortable Predictable and easy to read I've been shelved and forgotten Pulled out for use Or proof Evidence Tossed into the luggage of your life You have creased my cover And it is torn but intact I've been thrown across your tables Left behind, once or twice Used as a weapon Stained with the wine of your tears But none of my ink ran None of my words blurred Our pages are numbered But not in that finite manner For we are just a glimpse of this arc And I am still the story And your are still drinking me With your eyes As you author me With your love August 14, 2017
Fixed by Jami Williams The definition of "fixed" Depends on who you ask... Don't ask your dog That would be sad. Don't ask your boss That could get bad. Don't ask your significant other That could take up an entire night. Don't ask the people of America The people NOT of America Don't ask the media Don't ask the clergy Don't ask the politicians Don't ask the teachers Don't ask. Don't ask. Don't. Ask. That is how you "fix" it. Because the truth is No one knows how to fix it When they don't even know what is broken. August 13, 2017
Curiosity by Jami Williams When you left her Did guilt roar in your ears An ocean of your wrongdoing? When you traded her Did your skin agree or disagree With the new acquisition? When you yell at her, scream at her, Raise your hand to knock her cheekbone Shut her rotten mouth, rattle her stupid brain Did you ever stop to consider That you were doing her a favor? You knocked yourself right out of her. I wonder if you understand what a gift You gave that woman you hated? August 12, 2017
The Rubber Band by Jami Williams Shuffle in… shuffle Threadbare carpet Light reflected off asphalt Through window Into me Shuffle in… shuffle There is no dust settling Scent of sleep Exhaled Into me Shuffle in... shuffle They hear nothing Except the beat of the music That they stick in their ears To drown out the things That they need to learn Except the sound Of that sunlight Hitting the dust That will not settle Because I am charged With teaching them To not settle In… In And we begin The slump forward The slouch backward And I am centerstage Snap, spark, ember, ash Wind… smooth and silent To flare that ash… I refuse to let them go… I refuse to let you go You with the dead eyes And the deep white skin With the purple hair And the gray eyes And the home where no one feeds And the bed where no one tucks But you are here Sunlight Dust Moment Minute Second Snap One end around you One around me Pull I stand You pull away I stay You pull I stay I step We fly Toward each other Just missing But scent Of sleep Gone Brief spark From snap Brief spark We pass Dust settled Light blinding Done Shuffle out… shuffle August 11, 2017
Blemish at the Love Feast by Jami Williams I am the darkness at the doorstop Uninvited but so desperately in need I am fighting to protect my own ignorance Valuing the commodity of word over deed I am the hypocrisy you hated And the very same need you would not recognize The wolf in sheep's clothing and I'm hungry For you to see me while I'm gouging out your eyes I am the blemish at the love feast False prophet, truly dangerous, unaware I can't believe a word I say, I win the games the sinner play Invite me in, but let your heart beware. August 10, 2017
Murder by Jami Williams Mississippi crows are the size of Missouri turkeys! (Observation from the child just off I-55 at the rest stop) I could not disagree. After that, I saw them everywhere Without looking Flying into my line of sight Landing where I was looking As if my eyes had become Part of their murder But feet on ground Heart in chest I did not share their sky But come to me, they did... Flying by me Around me Through me I understood then I was not their equal I was not part of their murder I was their murder August 9, 2017
Confirmation by Jami Williams Immense, infinite I see your ocean and I know Know you now Power, decision, pride, joy Every grain of sand Bears your brand So who should come against me? Who should attack? Fool. My Father shall surround me. The Father of Unformed Glass All that's missing is the fire. August 8, 2017
Fibber by Jami Williams You have not seen the stars Liar... fibber... Until you have seen them Over the ocean Dancing with their reflection Loving their reverse Obvious in their intent They love YOU Like a first love Hands on hips pulling Primal, needful and wanton Not above hypnotizing you Seducing you Lying to you And they beckon Silver fire on black Plying you forward Forward Forward Until Sand on your back Legs askew Hands digging holes in the sand And their name Forcing itself from your lips August 7, 2017
Backseat - Passenger Side by Jami Williams The trees plan their attack Crowded against the roadside And for a moment I wonder who might be Their prey? It's me... A daughter returning to the home she can't remember Maybe some part of a dark heart that crept in as she crossed a border somewhere... They are MARCHING on me Determined to pull me back into a fold I don't remember Into a legacy I can't explain. I know that I descend from warriors Tearing meat from bone Limb from limb Heart from lover And in the blur of the car window Passing the onslaught I smile and nod, ever so slightly... So they know I am prepared To join their ranks August 6, 2017
Fort Morgan by Jami Williams You tried... It seemed perfectly conceived Bury yourself in the sand Arm. Your. Self. On the edge Of every ocean You sat perched A wall, a dam, a fort A nice try. Good effort. But. You. Fell. Anyway. You. Fell. Sort of... Your walls stood strong To this very day. I get you I get the effort behind your 30 billion bricks Designed to protect the soft, vulnerable things Living, growing, fighting inside you I stood under your bricks Still in tact, strong and aged 30 billion bricks No soft, vulnerable, living, growing things Just. Walls. August 5, 2017
Remnant by Jami Williams I woke up to an angry ocean A 360-degree coven of sky and water Blue-black vengeance The sand, the shore, faded Made itself smaller And that's when I began to understand There's a difference between the two That makes them so similar And I wonder if the sand, Just a match-strike away from becoming glass Understood the strength I witnessed It stood, proud and unwavering A million billion grains as one being Calming itself with readjustment The water encroached The sand simply waited As the storm rolled away And the sand began to glisten I realized the value in the sand. The storm wore itself down Beating against the store But the sand, Though diminished, Still remained. August 4, 2017
Ton of Bricks by Jami Williams These have I hated: Murderers Liars Thieves The same that you have loved Forgiven Healed Cherished The same that you find In the cupboards of my heart. August 3, 2017
Loblolly by Jami Williams Southern pines are intellectuals Roots through dirt Trunk high and thin So all of the beauty Is out of reach But then again - That depends On your definition Of beauty August 2, 2017
Cherry Pit by Jami Williams Bite through the skin of life Let the juice run through you Down your chin Into the wrinkles forming on the neck - age is a bitch The red beckoned Promised sun-warmed sweetness The same temperature as your body Only indication that you have bitten through Broken the skin Is the sweetness on your tongue The truth is in the pulling back Juice still on chin Sweet still on tongue Eyes dropping slowly Cherry. Pit. The hard part of the sweetness The hope of its tomorrow Question is: Use your finger to flick that pit away? Second-hand sweetness is never as sweet - that too is a bitch. Or... Use your tongue To taste the sweetness And bump up against the hard promise of the future? August 1, 2017
Immediacy by Jami Williams This Emotion This huge, gigantic, overwhelming, undercutting Thing Burning my throat Tipping my tongue Tasting solid tears Like salt rock I cry And laugh at the tears I wail And whisper to myself I thrash And remain tiny Not to be seen This Emotion This harsh, comforting, embracing, repulsive Thing I'm mad But I soothe myself I'm crazy But talking others down from the edge I'm over myself But I'm so self-involved Lying to my brain Zipping up my heart Tasting liquid laughter Like cold lava. July 29, 2017
Hypocrite by Jami Williams Do the prayer Where the ground opens And the earth breathes fire While we all step Out of your eye Averting our eyes Reverting to avoidance Do the prayer Where your hands strangle And the trees become ash While we all scour the ground For the fruit But no one will touch the seed Do the prayer Where you make wait And we catch the word That you will mount Like a theatre of battle While we pray for silence And your soul... But not for salvation But for whatever damnation That comes accompanied by peace. July 27, 2017
Track by Jami Williams There's someone dark inside my brain A wraith conductor of a malicious train He who derailed me long ago By saying things I shouldn't know How he travelled through my dark And swallowed every lever-brake spark To catch the coal and set ablaze The walls of this unkempt maze He passes by my whistle stops That levered-break he will not drop I cannot ever climb aboard To keep the track with my dark lord For he delivered me safely here Yet now I am his greatest fear He shovels coal to pass me by And I don't have to wonder why The conductor, he will never cease Won't slow, won't wave, won't make his peace He'll drive that train upon his track And dream of never coming back For I am the relic that he sought Now a precious, cunning afterthought The dandelion blown by innocence to seed He, the flower; I am the weed. July 30, 2017
Thrill by Jami Williams Stilted birds, so awkward So funny, full of courage Running at the the ocean Until the ocean turns back It's own retribution in mind And they run just out of its reach I live that fear Terrified Of the thing That gives you life July 28, 2017
From A Recovering Romantic Middle-Aged Woman by Jami Williams Tread carefully, young lovers, All that glitters Is just a reflection of light From some other source. Seek not the fire Lest it be doused by your tears Look for an ember That will catch the breeze Off of your emotions Slow to ignite If stacked right... Stack it right, dear ones, Do not pile desire upon lust Do not insert need before trust Do not expect There is no room For being in charge There is only room For the ember Look for the ember Let it float to you Meandering on the night wind Wafting gently It will almost pass you by Until you realize That this time what glitters Is you. July 26, 2017
Woman by Jami Williams Be delicate, they say, But when I tried I became A delicacy - devoured and absent. Too much of everything, I soon found out, Was a bad thing Because I was just that. Expectation: giant girl Still chasing lightning bugs But I was more thunder Unconcerned with the flowers Crushed under my feet Skirt hems muddy Ethereal > way TOO real To make yourself small enough To fit into someone's mind Is difficult. To make yourself large enough To fit into someone's memory Is simple. But not always a good thing. So I wiped the mud off skirt hems Swiped it onto my face Boiled the crushed flowers Made drink And I became a warrior Sat at the head of my own table Sharpened my sword on my own bones Now people look and see Loud, impatient, unabashed, ridiculous Shake their heads in sympathy for me Who traded woman for warrior But I smile and allow them to pity me Soon I will sharpen my sword on their bones And pull up a chair to my table Invite them to become Authentic. |
DAILY RANDOMNESSParadox
by Jami Williams I have been evil
And good In the same breath Forward and Completely backward In the same step Answering Questioning Same sentence Loved Hated By the same man Daughter of no one Mother of sorrow Still same man My contradictions Make me beautiful And horrendous. On the Approaching Storm
by Jami Williams It is already here You can hear it whine against the ground Pushback from hell No one likes to be cold Sky and sun hold hands Belying nothing And it is hard to remember That my sky ends somewhere A warning has been spoken by man But nature gives up nothing It holds its secrets Like a dead child in feather-down tomb At the wall of the storm They must cling to each other Sky and sun, Mother Clouds will shred them both As trees bend to the ground Reaching for the last bit of heat I am reminded That warmth is better than cold Even if it comes from the fire of hell Clan
by Jami Williams for Allison We dance around the same fire You, young and brazen And I, old and wizened Our heads were plunged into the same river And they took us into their houses of bone and mud And they branded us Low and small where none would see And mourn the clan They dressed us in thorns and reeds Shamed us and set us outside To warn But we, We made wind chimes of their bones Sun catchers of their eyes And canopies of their skin And then we lived With the dirt of their fingernails Embedded in our arms And the threads of their filth Embedded in our hair We lived We lived This is the song of our clan. Mukbang
by Jami Williams Mukbang, muk-bang or meokbang (/ˈmʌkbæŋ, ˈmʊkbæŋ/; Korean: [mʌk̚.p͈aŋ] ( listen)) is a live online audiovisual broadcast in which a host eats large amounts of foods while interacting with their audience. Blank eyes Mouths agape They stare at me Disbelief dripping Mukbang I am old Because I do not Understand the idea Behind a Mukbang Sounds dirty but it isn't... Sounds illegal... isn't Sounds painful... well You watch people devour Plates full of food On YouTube Kind of like being social But with the anti upped They don't like people They don't like being out They don't need friends They can watch anonymous strangers Devour plates of hotdog spaghetti And be more fulfilled at 15 than I am at 47 I shake my head Splatter confusion on their walls I am still winning LIFE is my mukbang Delete Key
by Jami Williams I miss pencils
The cedar-like smell Yellow paint Tribal pattern Wood grain Graphite I miss pencils Sharpen Lessen Erase Smudge Reminders of work Of creativity burned down Of running out of words I miss pencils Half tool Half weapon Impossible To impale one's self On a delete key. Rooted
by Jami Williams I hear you baying at the night
Shaking the windows Jarring the sugar bowl Beckoning to the parts of me That have died I hear her screaming in delight Shaking my heart Jarring the barren brain And I remember my feet on the path To the roots That ground you My saving grace Those roots Imprisoned there Where first you shed my blood To fertilize your grow You bay, they come to you To uproot To own you I prefer you where you are Stuck in the ground Rooted in the blood of my thorns Fiery Arrows
by Jami Williams I ponder
The idea Of fiery arrows It seems to be a bit of overkill... Or is that just me? To shoot someone with a fiery arrow I question this portion of history Heavy with doubt and disbelief The fire would burn the wood, right? The arrow is wood, the arrow head is... What? What burns but does not consume? Fiery arrows were the conundrum of my life Until you. You burn but do not consume Leaving blisters where you kiss my skin And holes where you plunge in. Desire. Fiery arrows are made of desire. Millisecond
by Jami Williams I am the dust
Kicked off of boots On a dirt road Floating into the air Like steam on a hot lake In a cold sunrise I am the scratch On a wood floor Beautiful only when the light Hits me and I disappear I am feedback As you put your mouth Treacherous, and terrifying To the part of me That amplifies you I am scar tissue Under the skin And radio waves bounce To warn of my presence Vaporous and infinite I beg to be considered More than a passing thought A travelling light Shot from here There is no there Anywhere I am the memory Tangible and passed on Once on your fingertips To your brain Where I evaporate Into the smell of your breath. The Sound of the Frozen
by Jami Williams Everyone is mistaken: the snow does not crunch It moans, twisted and pained, I walk Those are the sounds the frozen Ghost Tree
by Jami Williams I saw the Ghost Tree, white and bare Hiding but rooted Going nowhere The more we try to disappear, The more that we are here. Threadbare
by Jami Williams I put on the coat of many colors And I follow after my brothers And scream for you from inside the pit I am the grand marshal of the blood parade Watching my own embers fade And you are there to embrace me when I quit I holler to the atmosphere Tell me, tell me why I’m here! And the silence echoes back with gentle love And I muddy myself and claw and dig And I run off the cliff, the evil-grasped pig Only to find that you still lift me above How am I, your tapestry Example of your mastery Worth so much of the grace that you freely share You smile and lift my weeping head And bring to life what once was dead And remind me that this cross is not mine to bear The dirty hands are clean in you The lying lips now speak what’s true It isn’t just, it isn’t logic and it’s never fair You tie the knot and pull me in Forgiving me of my doubt and sin For there’s still a tie that binds when I’m threadbare. Auld Lang Syne...
by Jami Williams Whether I'm healed or whether I'm broken The silence I kept when I should have spoken The letting go and the holding on to it The apprehension instead of the going through it The laughter that came in and fell out as tears The seconds more fragile than millions of years The end's a beginning that will end just same And I cannot find fault and I cannot place blame It took what it took and it gave what I let it I'll forgive the year and I will never forget it |